Waldo and Carmen Sandiego : A Match Made in Heaven?

When I was little, there was nothing I loved more than watching Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego? It was a great show in which two young children were tasked with catching Carmen Sandiego, the world's greatest criminal mastermind and head of the world's largest crime cartel. There was literally nothing she could not steal. The Sphinx's nose? Carmen Sandiego. Mona Lisa's smile? Carmen Sandiego. SNL's relevence? Carmen took it back in the 80's. Even Batman isn't immune.

And if there is one thing she is better at than thievery, that is being impossible to find. The entire Carmen Sandiego franchise is built upon the concept of legions of detectives running around the world attempting to locate her while her heists continue to become more outrageous and bombastic. Heck, I spent many hours playing that blasted video game, and never had anything to show for it. At times, I would find myself thinking that maybe Carmen Sandiego was a lie, that she never existed at all and was nothing more than a cheap gimmick to gip me out ten dollars.

Truly, there is no one more elusive than Carmen Sandiego. 

Right?

Wrong.

Waldo may be a schmuck, but obfuscating stupidity is one of the oldest hats in the book, and Waldo's been wearing that particular hat for quite some time now. Waldo's been playing a game of cat and mouse with all of us for years, and much like Carmen Sandiego, has an entire line of books and games built around him. Believe it or not, there was even a Waldo cartoon back in the nineties. Fittingly, I can't find it anywhere*. And not only have people been trying to figure out the where of Waldo for years now, but also the who and why. Many theories have been proposed. Maybe he is a man on the run. Or maybe a secret agent. Even Werner Herzog has his own ideas.

Whatever the case may be, I grew up with both Waldo and Carmen Sandiego. I suppose the idea eventually had to occur to me; what would happen if the two of them met? It was sort of like getting hit by a lightning bolt. I thought about it, and then decided that such an idea was too obvious for one man to have. Just like the steam engine, someone else, somewhere else, had to have shared my thought. Naturally I went to the internet.

The internet did not disappoint. I found this.

and this...

and this...

And a lot more besides. An endless parade of cartoons all making the most obvious punchlines. Sometimes I love the internet. This was one of those times indeed.

As I scrolled through google images, it became clear to me that for whatever reason, most of these artists wanted Carmen and Waldo paired together romantically. That thought had never occurred to me before. Let's be honest; Carmen Sandiego is a fox. Waldo is, as said before, a schmuck. The plausibility of that hookup was negligible at best, nonexistent at worst.

But then I gave it some thought. When it comes to unique skills, there is no one who will understand Carmen Sandiego like Waldo, and vice versa. Also, it provides couples a unique way to celebrate Halloween together. And as a geek myself (case in point: this blog), shouldn't I be pulling for Waldo in this situation?

Faced with facts like these, I had to admit it made sense. I only had one lingering question. What happens if they have a kid?

Everybody should have seen that coming.




*Ha ha, but seriously, I can't find it.



All images belong to respectful deviantart users, google images.