Saturday, May 16, 2015

Everything I know about Russia I learned on Youtube

Just recently Russia staged a massive military parade to show off their new hardware. For the past decade Vladimir Putin has worked hard to put Russia back on the world stage. Russia has not always had the best luck - they lost major wars to Sweden, France, Britain, Japan, and Germany, and they sold Alaska in what was, retrospectively, one of the worst real-estate deals of all time. Nevertheless, the had strong showings against Napoleon and Hitler and were a world superpower for the latter half of the 20th century, and deserve our respect.

Because of this I have been researching Russia, mainly on Youtube, and I feel that I have learned a lot. So you can learn as well, I have collected what I feel are the most important videos concerning Russian culture so you may view them at your leisure. Enjoy!


10.  Russia in a Nutshell



Reckless motorcycles and unconscious bodies strewn across the street merit no attention in Russia apparently.

9. Russian Darts



The quick and steady escalation of violence clearly shows that the game of darts is far more hardcore in the Motherland than elsewhere in the world. Truth be told, this should not come as a surprise to. The precedent of extreme versions of relatively low-key entertainment had been established by Russian Roulette long ago.

8. The Only Real Way to Disarm a Gun



In case anyone doubts the efficacy of the Russian soldier, this video will set them straight.

7. Putin sings "Blueberry Hill"



Not only does Putin ride shirtless on horseback, he also sings for charity. Sure, he has dictatorial tendencies but he actually doesn't have that bad of a voice.

6. Tsar Bomba



Of course Russia built the world's biggest bomb. This video explains the semi-amusing rationale behind the device: since the Russian's missile accuracy was lacking, they simply built a bomb so powerful that accuracy was not an issue. Fun fact, Tsar Bomba more than 3000 times as powerful as the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

5. Russian Winnie the Pooh



There is nothing that is not perfect about this video. Whether it's the background that appears to have been sketched in crayon or the harsh cyrillic barking, no detail of Russia's Winnie the Pooh fails to make me laugh.

4. "Baby Ivan Drago"



If you have seen Rocky IV, then I don't need to explain the reference. If you have not, then I guess you can look it up. I'm not sure what makes the video great. Is it the casualness of the dad(?) training his son to be a killing machine, the beastliness of the kid, or the slavic techno playing in the background?

3. Circus Bears



Pop culture has told us that Russians and bears go together like blueberries and cream, and I guess this video proves that supposition correct. And while the moral and ethical implications of bear training for human entertainment is worthy of discussion, for the moment nothing can distract me from the fact that Russians are training bears to ride motorcycles.

2. Road Problems



Have you ever seen that picture of the highway paint job where they painted around the dead cat? If you have not, then you have not wasted enough time on the internet. This video proves that that kind of apathy is not an American phenomenon. I cannot say for certain that this is Russia and not some other slavic country, but I feel like it needed to be here one way or the other.

1."Moskau"



If you were Russian, you might feel insulted that the number one spot is occupied by a German pop band. Like some kind of mad Bolshevik ABBA, Dschinghis Khan prances across the stage in some of the most unlikely costumes devised in known memory, chanting "Moskau!"...I can only hope this is used by Russia's tourist board. Clearly the 70's were too good to last.

Bonus:



Because one German disco band will never really be enough.