It's a proven fact: Everybody in the world is a Star Wars fan (whether they know it or not). It's time for you to accept this. I have. When I was little, I wanted to be Han Solo. Han Solo was what made Star Wars great. Never mind that he ran drugs for a crime boss who also happened to be a gastropod. Han was cool because Chewbacca was his best friend.
Pictured: The ultimate bromance
Everyone wishes they had a friend like Chewbacca. Chewbacca is big, furry, and loyal, just like a dog. But dogs's can't talk nor do they have crossbows that shoot lasers. Sorry dogs, but it looks like Chewbacca has you beat. Get back to me when you can pilot a spaceship.
Pictured: Everyone's ideal childhood
What about human friends though? Some of them are big, furry, and loyal. Aren't they suitable substitutes for a lovable Wookiee? Before I answer that question, here's one of my own; do your friends speak with words? If they do, then they're clearly inferior to Chewbacca who is able to sum up his feelings with a few bellows and a growl. Imagine how much more efficient our conversations would be if all our friends were Wookiees.
So never mind that Chewie is a fictional character. Never mind that he was terrified of the monster in the trash compactor or that he yodels like Tarzan or that he doesn't wear pants. Chewbacca is the best.
Monocles: Making the best better since 1720.
Great, Seth, I always had a sneaking suspicion that I was inferior to Chewie. Now it is proven. However, being second to the Ultimate best is still quite a rewarding thought. Anyway, did you know Chuy (pronounced Chewie) is a diminutive of Jesus Christ? Cool, yes, I know. I wonder if Mr. Lucas was oblivious to this or he was sending subliminal messages to us.
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